Tag Archives: love

First Home

My imprint is no longer
in the memory foam beside your sleeping body,
my fingerprints don’t grace your windows
blurring outside images of strangers,
my breath isn’t on top of yours
creating sweet agreements, dinner plans,
my laughter has emptied
from hallways where my photograph once hung,
my footprints have been erased,
vacuumed away with time,
my name has been scratched out
of the home you made for it in your heart

so it’s time to move out.

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Leaving Unapologetically

I think about the boys
I never kissed goodbye,
the unfinished sentences
hanging like limbs
in empty rooms
I’ve left unlocked,
the words I never typed
and the poems I never penned.
Read between the lines then,
when I’m gone;
use my voice to fill each crevice
on your body,
to stretch your limbs out
and reach for my unfinished sentences,
to shove them back into your mouth
and try completing them.
This is where I leave you,
in a graveyard full of could-have-beens
surrounded by unaligned stars
without gracing you
with a half-decent explanation
of where or who
I am running toward.
And for the first time,
when I leave, I take with me
the thirst for another hurricane
having weathered one before,
and sour-tasting names
I’ve almost forgotten already.

when you leave, leave with peace

Ask Me Tomorrow

“You will find someone one day
who makes you feel worthwhile –
who convinces you
that you can move mountains,
pull tides,
ebb and flow through life
easily, with a grace you never knew you had.

“You will find something one day
that will remind you that you are a warrior,
a goddess,
a fucking hurricane with a purpose
and that purpose is to exist,
to bless everyone with your incredible self
and to care for them with a fierce passion
they never knew you could conjure.

“You will find some time one day
to forgive yourself of past mistakes and bad intentions
and to remind yourself
that you were never the problem
but rather, often self-love
was the solution
you never knew you were capable of.”

– excerpts from a pep talk

Dylan

  1. You looked like Hercules from the cartoon Disney movie. When I told you this, you laughed.
  2. You were 25.
  3. Your laugh was like fireworks, spontaneous and mesmerizing, a show all on its own and it drew people towards you. When we saw The Good Dinosaur in theatres, the hallucinogenic scene had you laugh louder and harder than anyone else in the theatre. I started laughing too because yours was so infectious.
  4. You were at a party.
  5. You may have denied it sometimes, but you were such a people person. Everyone wanted to know you and be your friend because you had such a reputation for being the nicest, most helpful guy they knew.
  6. You were too young.
  7. You were a fierce friend. You were quick to defend, support and help everyone you cared about.
  8. You had graduated seven months before.
  9. You were scared of birds. You especially hated the bird mural that was painted on your bedroom wall last year, but you didn’t know it was there when you rented the room. You really fucking hated birds.
  10. You had a girlfriend.
  11. You loved to dance and sing. I remember going to pub nights with you and having to physically take three steps back because you were twerking so energetically. I also remember you continuously messing up the words to “Can’t Hold Us” by Macklemore… even though you knew the lyrics were wrong, you sang them proudly and without fear.
  12. You had a family.
  13. You ate my ice cream when I left it at your house for a week. I wasn’t even mad because I knew you’d do it, despite promising not to.
  14. You had aspired to grow old to become, as you put it, a crazy old man.
  15. You were always asking about everyone else. It’s the little things that people remember, and I remember you asking me how I was and how my day was going from back before we were friends. It was so nice.
  16. You were my friend.
  17. You were the best goddamn newsroom leader in the world last year, and I made sure you knew it. You checked in with lower-year students hourly, you always gave amazing suggestions to broaden story pitches, you edited everything so thoroughly… you were everything that anyone could want in a boss.
  18. You were just starting to travel the world.
  19. Moments after making fun of Tyler for falling asleep in my car on the way to Ajax, you fell asleep beside him.
  20. You never gave up.
  21. You were one of the only friends I had last year, at a time when I felt caught between cities and friendships. You never minded when I came over to your house (every single day) because I was bored. You were so understanding.
  22. You were always talking about a future you’d never see.
  23. You made some of the funniest gym noises and faces in the world, but you were completely unfazed by people staring. No one else’s opinion of you mattered, and that’s just how you lived your life.
  24. I hated writing all of this in past tense.
  25. Your age.