They say you took something
and I’d like to believe it was the hand of God;
and even though you were atheist
you took it all the same.
I wonder if the pills you took left a bitterness on your tongue,
the way saying your name
paired with past tenses leaves
a numbness on mine.
I don’t even know if it was pills,
I was given two letters:
and was forced to string an alphabet of conclusions around them
that started with a party
and ended with a funeral.
As if you could describe the way you laughed
with three syllables,
one word –
as if anyone could understand
how alive you were
when your death
is what they will remember you for.
– what did you take