Last Kisses and Wistful Wishes

Every knock and doorbell ring
causes your heart to skip
like a worn out CD
because even at the end of all hope
you still wonder
whether or not it will be his shadow
you see when you open the door.
And you still kiss
each letter before you open it
because you know impossibilities
can still sometimes happen
or at least
you still pray they do.
And you remember all the words
to his favourite songs
just incase you hear them on the radio
so that you can sing along
in the hopes that somewhere,
he is hearing them play
and singing along too.
Time passes
and you’re still suspended
in the snow globe he bought you from the airport
because he forgot to get you anything else when he went away
so you wonder
if he’ll bring you another one
when he comes knocking on your door
at two in the morning
and saying sorry with his eyes.
It’s been three months,
four,
six,
you’ve lost count,
and even though you no longer remember the mole on his cheek
you still feel like
he will be back,
he needs to be back.

Sometimes
you can wait for weeks,
months,
three years to the day,
and you will never get that final validation.
He will never say he’s sorry
because he’s not;
he’s found another girl
who has hair the colour of sunshine
and whose lips taste like raspberries
and he doesn’t even think of you
except once, late at night,
when the movie you two started together was playing on late-night cable,
and he wondered whatever happened to you.
And you’ll be sitting on your window sill,
waiting for your Prince Charming to arrive
all the while secretly aware
he was enjoying his
happily ever after
without you.

It’s time you learned, darling,
that the person who broke you
won’t be the person who fixes you.

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