The thing about happiness is that you can’t help yourself from wondering when and how it’s going to end. And you know it’s going to end, that itself is no question. But until it does, you’re paranoid and terrified of the how and when part.
Newton is famously quoted as saying, “What goes up must come down”, and maybe it’s because you studied Newton in the tenth grade that you are paranoid about your happiness ending. You know you can’t be so high without falling so low; Newton also probably taught you that with his third law.
But maybe we aren’t designed to be happy permanently, because how would we then be able to appreciate it? Look at Kim Kardashian: that woman has so much money and time and fame that she didn’t have to work for. And yet even she invents things to bitch about out of boredom.
It’s hard knowing that your happiness has an expiration date. Especially with our misguided belief that our sorrow does not. When the waves of depression and anxiety and fear and sorrow all hit us at once, it’s easy to believe that these waters will never be swimmable again.
But the sick thing is, none of this stops us from hoping for the highs and praying that the lows don’t come. It doesn’t stop us from reaching for what we know is the inevitable. We set ourselves up for this disappointment like we crave it.
And maybe we do.
Maybe we need the lows just as much as we yearn for the highs. Because without them, we’d forget that this is reality. We’d forget that we’re all just humans, and humans are allowed to hurt sometimes.
We’d forget how to appreciate our happiness for as long as it lasts.