Forgetting

There was irony in the way we picked forget-me-nots
along the shoreline of a lake that held a thousand memories
in the weeks before I left
and the hours before you saw her.
And sometimes I wonder what you did
with the letters I wrote you and told you to open
whenever you missed me;
I imagine them unopened, under your bed
or in a landfill, taking up space the way I did in your life
and the way you did in my heart.
I still wake up some mornings
with your name tattooed on my tongue
and I reach out to my side,
but all I grab is cold sheets and ghosts
in the place your arm used to lie.
I still see your face in crowded rooms
and in lonely dreams,
and my poems that were once filled with your name
suddenly no longer rhyme.
But I think what scares me most is that over a year later,
I can’t remember the curve of your cheek
or the smell of your cologne;
I can’t remember the way you liked your coffee
or the weight of your palm on my shoulder;
I can’t remember the shade of brown in your eyes
or the roughness in your laugh.

But I remember the way you made me feel once upon a time,
both the good and the bad,
and it makes me wonder if it was worth it.

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One thought on “Forgetting”

  1. I’m sure whoever this guy was his intentions were never to hurt you.
    Sometimes bad things happen.. with no rhyme or reason… and there’s no way to explain them or assign meaning
    After reading your posts I can tell see how much you cared for him.. and it seems like he cared for you too.
    I’d be willing to bet the time you spent together wasn’t meaningless for him, but like you, it was a chapter in his life that meant much more than a “letter in a landfill taking up space”. Only for him his chapter had a different transition.. with different emotions. I’m sure he hasn’t forgotten about you the way you think he has.
    That being said, I don’t blame you for despising him. I’m sorry that he caused you so much pain.
    From 1 stranger to another, I truly think you’re a wonderful person and hope you’re able to leave all the pain he caused you in the past.

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