The Friend-Zone

Disclaimer: I am going to specifically be talking about MOST guys in friend-zone situations, not all. I know this may seem like overgeneralizing, but I am sick and tired of hearing the male inhabitants of the internet complaining over being “friend-zoned”. I rarely ever hear of a girl complaining about being friend zoned and there is a difference in what the two genders perceive as being “friend-zoned”. To MOST guys, being friend-zoned is when a girl deems you as unworthy of being a sexual partner or of future relationship status because you are her friend. To a girl, sex is rarely a part of the equation; they just want to be in a relationship with one of their guy friends. Again, this is NOT ALL CASES. I am ONLY TALKING ABOUT THE PEOPLE ONLINE WHO I HEAR BITCHING ABOUT BEING FRIEND-ZONED EVERYDAY. THESE PEOPLE HAPPEN TO ALL BE GUYS, SORRY BUT THAT’S HOW THIS WORKS.

How many friend-zoned guys does it take to change a light bulb? None; they’ll just stand around complaining about how it won’t screw.

And that my friends is why I hate this so-called “friend-zone”.

I cannot count the number of guys I have apparently pissed off when I have rejected their advances because they were my friends. It’s NOT just a line to me. I won’t tell a guy, “Sorry, I can’t date you because it’s too weird for me; you’re my friend and I don’t want to take our relationship to the next level” unless it was true. This is not just some bullshit line girls have made up. If you’re our friend, chances are it’s because we like you as a person, not because we want to eventually date you.

But why are you getting mad at me? Did I ever once say that I wanted a relationship? Did I ever give you any indication that I wanted to sleep with you or be with you “in that way”? No. Wanna know why? Because you’re my friend! And the worst part about all of this is that you assume sex is a given because you were our friends for so long. I cannot count the amount of times guys have just assumed something was going to happen just because I asked them to hang out.

WHY? I don’t understand, I really don’t. Do you think it’s okay to be my friend and comfort me when I’m upset and hang out with me and laugh with me BUT ONLY IF YOU GET LAID AFTERWARD?! Because to be honest, that’s really fucked up.

I get it, some guys just want a relationship with their friends who happen to be girls. Cool dude, either tell her or move on. And if the answer is “No, you’re my friend”, MOVE ON! Don’t wait around for years for her if she doesn’t ant you. Find someone who does and stop torturing yourself.

But honestly, I know girls are friend-zoned too. Hell, I was friend-zoned once. But I handled it SO differently from the way people seem to think it’s okay to handle it nowadays: I told my friend, “Hey so I hope this doesn’t make you uncomfortable but I have feelings for you. I get it if you don’t, and I understand if you need some time to get used to the idea” (that was literally almost word for word). And you know what? I survived without whining like a little bitch on the internet about it.

I hate this. I hate how society has made it seem like it’s okay to treat people with resentment because they aren’t sexually attracted to you. Specifically, men treat women like shit when the woman isn’t interested.

We get called sluts. We get called prudes. We get called teases. And now, we’re being ridiculed for trying to be friends.

And you wonder why we won’t sleep with you.


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