Let’s Talk About Sex

Or more specifically, the double standard associated with sex. I know that recently there has been an anti-feminism backlash consisting of mainly pissed off men who believe the sexes are equal, but newsflash: gender stereotypes still rule the world (if you don’t believe me gents, try and find a men’s room in every building that also has a baby changing station. Most places still don’t have one).

But to get to the point, there is a double standard in our society imposed by men and – yes – women in regards to sex. How come men are seen as popular and suave and charming when they have sex with a high number of women and, more importantly, how come women are degraded and ridiculed by their number of sexual partners?

In one of my previous posts in November, I looked at the way a boy had sent his girlfriend a breakup text with a bunch of stupid and shallow reasons. One of those reasons was, “I think you’ve slept with more than two guys and that is just not okay”.

WHAT?

We live in a society where love and relationships are not always the end goal of a date, but sex is. I’m not saying this is always the case, but it is becoming more and more popular. (To divulge too much information, I went on a date a few weeks ago and the boy was obviously disappointed when I told him there was no way he was coming home with me that night. He never texted me back. Needless to say, he only wanted sex, something I wasn’t prepared to give him, and he was pissed when he didn’t get it. Instead of making his feelings known to me at the beginning of, or preferably before, the date, he just became one of “those guys” who never reply).

Men at bars can brag about their kill list to their friends and receive fist bumps and high fives and wide grins and thumbs ups… But now let’s switch the roles.

We as a society – don’t lie, we’ve all done this at one point or another – have judged a female for the number of sexual partners she’s had. The obvious example here are porn stars; plenty of women consider themselves “better than” these women because of the number of sexual partners they have had. It’s bullshit, and frankly it’s no one’s business.

Now let’s think of some more examples. One of the reasons I was bullied in high school was because in grade nine, someone had the nerve to spread a (false) rumour about me that gave me a new nickname: slut. I was fourteen years old and I had never even kissed a boy, and suddenly I had people (mostly girls) writing my name paired with the words “skank” and “whore” in bathroom stalls. (For my friends who still go to Pickering High, it’s in the middle stall in the science hall washrooms).

I was judged based on a sexual rumour, and one that wasn’t even true. Now think of all the women in the past you’ve heard have slept around with several guys. In your mind, I’m sure you’ve called them “easy” or “promiscuous”, maybe you’ve even labelled them a slut.

If we look at the term “slut” as given by the Google definition, there is no mention of men. A slut can only be a woman who has had many sexual partners. Seems unfair, doesn’t it?

But really, it shouldn’t matter whether someone has had sex with two people or two hundred people, regardless of gender or sexual orientation or whatever. So long as they’re being safe, (condoms are our friends people!) it effects NO ONE ELSE. Don’t judge people for doing something you should have absolutely no business in caring about.

Other than that, do whatever/ whoever you want.

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2 thoughts on “Let’s Talk About Sex”

  1. imo. i agree with a lot of the stuff you said in this, but… i also feel like its all about how the person looks at it themself. if jill smith had sex with 8 guys and shes proud of it, then she shouldn’t care who else judges her because she is happy with herself. me personally as a guy, i dont go around flaunting the numbers of people ive slept with, because i dont see it as a negitive or a positive. i think that people do it to have fun alot of the time, and people also do it to show love. no matter what the reason…. if you are happy with yourself about it, then screw what people think about it. but what im essentially saying is that its all about your mindset. if you think ” oh its so bad” then others will go along, typically guys dont think like that… so thats why its treated like that to us and not to girls.
    🙂

    1. While mindset is important, there is still a stigma, and it is divided by the sexes. It shouldn’t matter what people think, yes, but I was bullied for four years over something that never even happened that had to do with my sexuality. People (mostly girls, but a few gay boys) have committed suicide over being ridiculed for the same issues in regards to their sex lives. So it is an issue that exists, despite the fact we all wish it wouldn’t.

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