Playlist of My Life

I recently read (for the third or fourth time) Sing You Home, a novel written by my favourite author, Jodi Picoult. Zoe, the main character in the novel, is a music therapist. She uses music to connect with people, and some of the methods she uses are really interesting. When I was sixteen and suffering from undiagnosed dysthymia, I looked into finding a music therapist (unfortunately, there are DEFINITELY not enough of them).

But anyways, Zoe had a theory in the book I read that I’m interested to try out: she believed that every person’s life has a soundtrack. With this soundtrack, a person can figure out everything about you.

So, I’m going to share with you a rough idea of what my soundtrack is in the hopes that some of you guys who read my blog (I KNOW you exist guys, come on!) will comment – either here or on Facebook or Twitter or whatever – your own life soundtracks.

The rules: it can be as long or as short as you’d like, but you should try to chronologically order the songs in some way. You should probably take a few moments to look at things such as the most played songs on your iPod, think about bad memories and happy ones etc. Just be honest with yourself! No one is going to care if you have a Hannah Montana song on there, so long as it’s a part of who you are. They don’t necessarily have to be songs you like or still like, just ones you know describe you and your life.

Without further delay, here’s my life playlist (and a brief explanation of each song chosen)…

1. The Barney Song
To say I loved Barney from the ages of 0 – 6 would be an understatement. My parents would play the same Barney videos for me over and over and I would cry without cease when the videos would stop until my parents could rewind the film and press “play” all over again. I had a big stuffed Barney that I carried with me everywhere. I was teased for the first time in my life over my affinity for Barney by the twin daughters of my babysitter, who told me I was too old. I stopped watching when I was four, but I still loved him in secret until I was a few years older. I had a Barney light in my room until I was probably close to eight or nine (don’t tell people).

2. Old School – Hedley
My all-time favourite song. I had a really hard time in elementary school; I was bullied, I was teased, I felt like an outsider. I was too tall, too freckly, too awkward. I laughed at all the wrong jokes, I felt belittled by al the wrong people… I was the only girl in my entire school who wasn’t asked to the end of year dance. Every year, not just once. When I found the song “Old School”, I realized that one day, this would all be in my past. I realized that no matter how bad things seemed, I’d one day be wishing I was this young again. I realized I needed to start enjoying my life.

3. Love the Way You Lie – Eminem ft. Rihanna
I don’t necessarily like this song for it’s musical genius, no, not by any means. It became popular at a time that, ironically, I really needed to hear it. The messages the song gives are so powerful, even if it was written into our pop culture society to just be “the next big hit”. It struck a cord with me.

4. Hallelujah – Jeff Buckley
This version of the song is the one I grew up listening to. it’s actually mentioned in the novel Sing You Home too, and it reminded me of how I sang this song until my voice was raw and I had tears streaming down my cheeks. This song is how my mind feels when I’m sad. This song is how my blood sounds when I stumble through life. This song is forgiveness. Also, as Ive said before in my posts, I’m very slightly religious, and this song just brings together all my faith and ties it up in a beautiful melody. It’s like hearing God, but better because there’s guitar.

5. Fifteen – Taylor Swift
Because high school was the worst four years of my life, and Taylor really seemed to get it. She knew boys were going to lie to me, to cheat on me and to make me feel like my heart was falling out of my chest. But I survived and my battle scars only show strength, not weakness.

6. Fucking Perfect – Pink
The music video to this song still makes me cry.

7. Somebody to Love – Queen
My dad, my brother and I used to listen to Queen and Rush and the Beatles and Meatloaf and Pink Floyd and all those other good oldies on repeat, back in the land of CDs and when we actually had a bitchin’ stereo system. I loved this song the most because it was, to me, the most fun. I remember the nights I spent listening to music with my dad and brother and I always think about this song particularly. I went through a phase in high school where I listened to all those oldies on repeat again, but things are never the same the second time around. This time, they were better.

8. Trains – Porcupine Tree
This song will always make me cry. It reminds me so much of a person who hurt me terribly a while ago. This was one of his favourite songs that he had done a cover to. I had heard the lyrics coming from his lips and I had practically seen the notes flying up from the guitar as he played. I fell in love with him the same time I fell in love with this song.

9. Jar of Hearts – Christina Perri
It’s been over a year, but I still can’t bare to pass through this song when it comes up on “shuffle” on my iPhone. I love the emotion in the lyrics and the way the piano pours over Christina Perri’s voice while she sings. It reminds me of hope.

10. All Too Well – Taylor Swift
My friends will remember me telling them a million times how much that song reminded me of how I feel. Unlike Jar of Hearts, this song is frequently skipped on my iPhone. Why? Because I still can’t listen to it without crying, no matter where I am or who I’m with. This song reminds me of the boy who cheated on me. It reminds me of breaking my heart twice, really badly in the same year. It reminds me of dysthymia and a bad place and nightmares and crying so hard I thought I was going to be sick. It reminds me of curious but not sympathetic stares. It reminds me of loss.

11. All I Want – Kodaline
“You took my soul and wiped it clean/ Our love was made for movie screens” is my favourite line of any song almost ever. It’s just a cute song in general, but it’s also about loss. But unlike the other songs I’ve mentioned, this one is more so about learning to cope. The guy singing does want his love back, but he is also (in my mind) happy when he reminisces over the beautiful time they spent together, which I think is a pretty neat analogy for life.

12. All Summer Long – Kid Rock
This is the song that reminds me of my best friends. It reminds me of the long trail of them, many of which I’ve left behind along the way. It reminds me of sitting in my one friend’s room, making rock sculptures, the first time I heard it. It reminds me of sitting around a campfire this past summer with two of my best friends in the whole world on the Lake Ontario beach. It reminds me of my best friend who moved schools in grade nine and how we had both made a promise – which we both kept – to kiss the boys we thought we were in love with, who coincidentally were also best friends. It reminds me of crazy things I’ve done and it gets me excited for the crazy things I will do one day.

13. Things That We Lost in the Fire – Janet Devlin
This song is just beautiful. Sung by my favourite singer and made to give you goosebumps. It just let’s you breathe for a moment, and it lets you remember how much in life you’ve lost. But what I like most about it is how much stronger it makes you feel by the end.

Links to each song:
Barney: http://https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vzo0iHrivVQ
Old School: http://https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYx8dPFR588
Love the Way You Lie: http://https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uelHwf8o7_U
Hallelujah: http://https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIF4_Sm-rgQ
Fifteen: http://https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pb-K2tXWK4w
Fucking Perfect: http://https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocDlOD1Hw9k
Somebody to Love:http://https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=quMlRhlVR3I
Trains:http://https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UHwkfhwjsk
Jar of Hearts: http://https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8v_4O44sfjM
All Too Well: http://https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a45xkHny3gA
All I Want:http://https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqJoVlnmdFQ
All Summer Long: http://https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYMY7JpnK9g
Things That We Lost in the Fire: http://https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ai5lCfZnNlc

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