Collection of My Favourite Poems (By Me)

Because I just had a super long day at work, I am unable to think of anything new to write or rant about tonight. Please enjoy a collection of some of the best poems I’ve written over the past year.

Empty Person

And I
don’t want to be
that person
whose nights
are filled with
empty bottles
for I long to be
that person
whose days
are filled with
empty thoughts.

Free Falling

I’m afraid of heights,
I said as I began to climb
I forgot about the rules of space
ignored the limits of time.

I’m afraid of heights,
I said louder, and with care
but my feet kept climbing higher
and disappeared into thin air.

I’m afraid of heights,
I yelled just right before I jumped
free falling into infinity,
heart neglecting to pump.

I’m afraid of heights,
I whispered to no one really at all
you’re afraid of heights, you said
yet you weren’t afraid to fall.

new beginnings:

If I still had the words
I would have said them long ago
and if I still had the heart
It would have been yours from the beginning
and if I still had the strength
I wouldn’t have had to lean on you
this whole time.

The Gain

It amazes me how humans have become so accustomed to loss.

We lose our car keys.
We lose laundry change.
We lose the matching sock that we are sure went into the dryer yet never seemed to come out.

People lose their appetites
and lose their minds.
We lose our hearts almost on a daily basis.

We lose the ones we love,
We lose games of Monopoly played around a fire on a winter’s evening
and we lose our train of thought.

But what amazes me most I think is how we can go our whole lives
and never realize the amount of loss we’ve felt
beginning with a loss of words
when you see the person
who makes this loss
worth while.

Shelf of Supplements

There is a shelf of supplements in my heart
where I store the little things
that keep me going without you:
the song you sung to me
as we drove to the beach that one time,
the rock you gave me
because you said
the colour matched my hair,
the lucky penny we found
while tripping over our own feet,
the tears I cried when you told me
we couldn’t go back in time,
the words I wrote in pen
that you probably threw away,
that time you said you loved me
subtly, like a whisper,
the promises you gave away like spare change
only to blink and forget them,
and the moments when I’d look at you and think
“I love him more than I love myself”.

I keep these safe in the confines of my heart
until I’m finally able to let you go
and live my life drug-free.

The Paradox of Loss

I’m scared to step on a scale these days
because I know the number will be double what it once was.
My lungs are full with sobs
and my eyes are full of tears
and my heart is full of memories.
Surely I must weigh more?

I haven’t eaten in three days
because there is a rock dragging the pit of my stomach
towards the tiled floor
and my heart sits near my kidney,
too heavy to lift.
How many pounds does a heavy heart weigh?

I read somewhere that when you undergo huge trauma
your heart strings can snap
which apparently is quite serious;
you can die of a broken heart.
I think I already knew that though.
Will your scale break under my weight one day?

And even though you’re gone,
you’re still standing right beside me on the scale.
Even though you’re gone,
you’re still weighing me down.
and I guess that’s the paradox
of loss.

The Seamstress

They said she was amazing
with a needle and thread
she could mend any sweater
darn any sock
and the stitches would fit
seamlessly.
She could undo any brokenness
and fix any ties,
with the flick of her milky wrists
she was able to fix
what seemed to be
the whole world.
He was a boy
with a habit of carelessness
and came to her often,
asking her if please
could she repair this?
She would sew his clothing
and each day, long for his touch.
She would wish she could sew
two people together.
But he was a boy
with a habit of carelessness
and when she unravelled
no one could sew her together again.

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