Contrary to popular belief, I think that people go to extra, unnecessary lengths to “hate” themselves, or at least pieces of themselves.
Look in the mirror. Now look a little closer. Look at your face until the fault lines and mistakes blur together to see what the rest of the world sees: another human being who’s trying their best in a shitty world.
Everyone suffers with low self-esteem every once in a while, especially in regards to body image. It can be anything from the size of your thighs to the thinness of your beard that will set it off and suddenly, before you know it, you’ve embarked on a full-blown, self-hating tangent.
But let’s stop to think about this for a second. When you start feeling bad about yourself, it’s only natural that suddenly all of your insecurities multiply. You take one look at yourself and say, “Wow, I got no sleep last night and I look really haggard. It wouldn’t be so bad if my zits weren’t raging. And if my face was skinnier. Or if I was skinnier in general…” and so on and so on. Before you know it, you’re SEARCHING for things to nitpick over without even stopping to realize that everyone else does this exact same thing, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Big deal, so you have a few wrinkles and some cellulite and maybe some dark spots under your eyes. It’s nothing the world hasn’t seen before, trust me. And if anyone ever judges you based on your appearance as much as you already do, they aren’t worth hanging around because of their superficiality.
I’m not going to do what everyone else on the internet seems to do these days and say “Everyone’s beautiful!” … Not everyone is physically attractive as seen through the eyes of society (projected by the mass media and culture industry). But I AM going to say that outer beauty doesn’t matter at all. Inner beauty does, and if you try to be the best person you can be day after day, then that’s all I could ever ask from you. And I think that’s truly beautiful.
In regards to hating yourself, stop it right now! You don’t need to pick apart your appearance – or anyone else’s for that matter. If you stop putting effort into finding “flaws”, these flaws will become unnoticeable to you, and you will feel a million times better with yourself.
I’ll admit, there were (and still are) many days when I tore myself apart trying to imagine myself as someone different, someone better. It didn’t make me happy, and it won’t make you happy either. The first kind of love anyone should experience is self-love, the most fulfilling type of love.
Love yourself first and watch as those around you start to love the beautiful, confident you.
PS (even though this isn’t a letter) – even if you still can’t see yourself as beautiful, there are many, many people who do.