i’m scared to step on a scale these days
because i know the number will be double what it once was.
my lungs are full with sobs
and my eyes are full of tears
and my heart is full of memories.
surely i must weigh more?
i haven’t eaten in three days
because there is a rock dragging the pit of my stomach
towards the tiled floor
and my heart sits near my kidney
too heavy to lift.
how many pounds does a heavy heart weigh?
i read somewhere that when you undergo huge trauma
your heart strings can snap
which apparently is quite serious;
you can die of a broken heart.
i think i already knew that though.
will your scale break under my weight one day?
and even though you’re gone
you’re still standing right beside me on the scale.
even though you’re gone
you’re still weighing me down.
and i guess that’s the paradox